spice

all alone I stand among

forced to smile with pupetted cheeks

with fear of sanction I hold my tounge

knife in skin I count the weeks.

I gaze out with windows soulless

at a world to distracted and numb

it leaves me happy in solace

neglect and abuse give death a human sum.

earth is plagued by human greed

that I am a virus on my mother

leads my heart , spirit and skin to bleed

a pain  internal  to not hurt another.

I am a burden to all as we all are to Earth,

Mother, Nature, I regret my birth.

The Human Nation

I look upon this world with satisfaction

at the progress of mankind

of the growth from one action

a path that has lead us to evolve our mind.

From learning to walk bipedal

to the development of tools

to standing tall rather than curling fetal,

as a species we have evolved our own rules.

To be human to progress

carry on for the sake to continue tomorrow

To be braver and stronger under stress

and always lead rather than follow.

we are one and we have strength

together we move forward

on our two legs we walk any length.

I am proud to contribute my own

to the story of the human nation

that my effort will be shown

through our continuation

Dad

one day i'll make him proud
one day i'll make him see
im  on the podium- he's in the crowd
that he was wrong about me.
I wont give him credit
to praise his bullying
he'll try to ignore it
and still go on bragging.
My successes are his
My failures are mine
His love is a quiz
The lowest grade thyne.

Do go Gently into that sweet love

When I see you share a look,

Or give a random nuzzle

I pray you write a book,

Of how you solved that puzzle.

When you look into each others eyes,

And smile in response,

I know you have found your prize,

One that's only won once.

When I see you share the pain,

From this rollercoaster life,

I know that you have nothing more to gain,

That you're impervious to strife.

Such a tale once only spun in lores

I wish above all else I find love like yours

you know

Like a simple exhale, I feel at ease,

A smile in your cheeks an I'm weak in the knees.

I feel at home at your side,

And blessed when you laugh at my chide.

From your sassy jokes,

To playful pokes;

You tame my storm to a calm sea

How incredibly  lucky I am you chose me.

Burns

It started so fun,
So quick I was "the one".
Up late at night just to talk,
Slipping from a praise to a mock.
I trusted you enough-
To break my outer tough.                                                                                           (never again)
You said you loved me,
So I showed my emotional sea.
Then suddenly it wasn't fun
And I wasn't your one.
I got sick-depressed,
You got bored- " stressed".
Love is a promise to be there always,
But you abandoned me in my darkest days.
Now I'm Scared, Terrified, Paranoid,
That if I'm weak they'll be Bored, Turned-off, Annoyed.
You called it love and broke my trust,
You were (are) incapable of love,only lust.
You built me up, broke me down, sent me spiralling;
Undid years of work,instead of crying i'm lying- smiling.
But now without You i'm taking all the right turns,
For your love doesn't heal, it Burns.

Escape

The blood pours forth as a torrent of sin,
Staining the out- releasing the in.
Salt rivers cascade down the marbled face,
Chosen to die as forced to birth, disgrace.
closer to peace with each exhale,
each wisp an existential tear into the air.
In deaths promising grip
'Laxed fingers let life's burdens slip.
Let go and ascend,
Life's scars death's kiss doth mend.

Schoo'

More rapid than eagles these courses they came
and all the teachers rember my name.
I try not to slack i really do try
but some of this work makes me to cry.
I cant do this and i cant do that,
im told to run by a gym coach whos fat.
The counselors are there just to look prettt
or so i assume since they do their work so shitty.
this is finally senior year
and ive only learned pda is.no caise.of fear.

Catherine

She walks with power on her back,
With insults collapsing in her wake,
She holds in spades what others lack,
No better a friend shall I ever make.

Torment of Saint Anthony

Plagued forever by these spirit
But for Him I gladly bear it.
From these burdens there is no saftey,
Yet if truly troubled He will save thee.
Ambushed by thee sudden torments,
To repel with reverent torrent.
I give gladly all my wealth,
For the promise of hravenly health.
Give not into devils of lax,
Triumph is earned by those whom tax.
Battle to fall in the cave,
Yet with goodness exit thy grave.

Rain

I know bliss in the rain,
thus to mother build I a fane.
Humans have lead me to misanthrope,
yet with no soul but sol I do cope.

Navy reject

If I shall die before I wake,
Know I have not a soul to take.
For in this form Earthly bound,
There is no joy to be found.
For I have witnessed here for long,
That in the darkness my thoughts belong.

War

I see them fall left and right
Extend above then drop low
Those who sang last night
Now fallen to the foe.
They drop right before me
Those who once were joyous
Now whispers of to He
Fallen to the chorous.

For you

The sun will rise and the moon will set
And I will still love you yet.
Mountains will rise and towers will fall
And you 'ill still have my all.
Children will make beds on which they lie
And I shall love you till I die.
Parents will always depend the truth
And for you I devote my life as proof.
More real than math is true
I am forever in love with you.

Five-seven-five #1

              Wind against my back

               Sun warming my sorrow face

            Out here I am free

Fun with the ending sound "ease"

I cross my legs and cross my Ts

I live to put my father at ease,

When I ask I always say please

And always hear yes but as a tease.

Each breath of poison

Looked away I'm cast away

Cursed to live another day.

Plagued by life beneath my skin

Burdened as ghost amongst my kin.

Each step not off a ledge

Takes me closer to the edge.

Their voices like razors to my wit

Inner lights that don't know to be lit.

Longing for it all to end

Grazing my knife my only friend.

" death is no solution"

Yet our world dies from our pollution.

The answer is thus so clear

Only truth is plagued by fear.

What lies beyond the last exhale?

Is it freedom or is it jail?

Be it heaven be it hell

There be no better sell,

Than the promise to be gone.

Sonnet #2

I pray to god every day

Pray that it kills me rightly

That it takes my life before I may

That it shall take me quietly.

For I do not have the strength

Nor have not the courage

To take my thoughts to length,

To give into the urge.

The thoughts that drown my mind

Begin to freeze my spirit,

A drink of the lethal kind,

A drink. I wish I made it.

Darker thoughts I never knew

I hope it kills me before I do.

Work of fiction!!!

The fires reflection dances in the rippling pond as an ash filled breeze blows soothingly across my face. I close my eyes to better extend my other four senses. I smell  a collage of aromas, burning wood, smoke, melting plastic and the ever so faint scent of burning flesh. I can smell them burning yet craning my ears I cannot hear them screaming, the cackling guffaw of the fire masks what is sure too be an awesomely abhorrent chorus of screams. I begin to walk closer until I can feel the heat of the fire as well as taste the spice of its rath. I smile and sit down on the grass,damp with dew, lean back on my arms and sprawl my legs out, rocking my feet back and forth as I watch the lady dance. Oh how I love to watch her dance the flaring of her dress as she spins round and round, the dramatic dips,leaps and falls, it is an art and she a muse. I lean forward and remove my knapsack from my back and get my sketch pad and pencils out. I cross my legs and hunch over as I begin scribbling trying to capture the radiance and romance of the dance, but knowing I will fail this time as I have before for her beauty is incaptureable. Suddenly a wretched wail pierces through the orchestral bliss and I am forced to replace my book and pencil in my knapsack and walk back to my tent on the lake. I reach the lakes beach, which is proportionally sandy as it is pebbly, and with one hand lift my tent to move it back. I kneel down and dig a shallow square hole and once again remove my sketch book but this time wrap it in a raggedy towel before placing it in the hole and burying it. Then I pick the tent back up and place in over my treasure and crawl inside to sleep until the police arrive.